The Arizonans Are Coming!

Watching tv last night, I learned that the state of Arizona passed a law granting police the power to stop and verify the immigration status of anyone they suspect of being illegal. Surely people would realize that this law was unconstitutional. To begin with, states have no power to pass immigration laws. More importantly our constitution forbade illegal search and seizure. "The Tea Party would never allow this" I mused. With a leap I jumped on my horse and rode through the night. "The Arizonans are coming. The Arizonans are coming". The familiar pope like hats of the British soldiers were replaced with Diamondback baseball caps. One if by land, two if by sea . I lit one lantern. They were coming through the Arizona desert. I needed to contact my friends in the Tea Party. This was their chance to shine and prove they were not just about sound bites and slogans. This was their moment to truly defend the constitution. This was a chance to prove they were truly a non partisan movement that cared about the constitution. Freedom would be on the march! I lit up the sky with a signal. I had replaced the bat with Glenn Beck's logo.

This would be perfect for the Tea Party and the Glenn Beck crowd. They were in the midst of planning a rally on the anniversary of Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" speech. Here was a chance to defend the civil rights of all Americans. Glenn Beck sat in front of cutouts of the founding fathers for Pete's sake. Here was a chance to defend the very principles they cherished. Screw healthcare reform (which by the way is constitutional under the commerce clause), this was a law that challenged one of the very basic tenets of our American way of life. No illegal search and seizure. The authorities needed a reason to detain you. God Bless America, Arizona even had a tea named after the state. The script wrote itself.

No one from the Tea Party came to my defense. "They are trying to pass a law in Arizona that allows Police to stop you just because you look like a foreigner! " I shouted. Where were the misspelled signs. Where were the Winnebagos of Freedom. Where was the Maverick and the Barracuda? Did the teaparty's Rascal scooters run out of juice? Apparently, the copies of the Constitution teaparty protestors carried were just props to them. They had returned their tri cornered hats to the costume shop. There was no sound of fifes and drums. I think the true meaning of the Arizona law glossed over them.

Let's set up a fun hypothetical. You're on vacation in Arizona for the annual Magnum PI convention. Your tan, you grow a mustache and throw on a Hawaiian shirt. With the mustache, some may say you look a little foreign. A police officer stops you even though you have broken no law. You are an American Citizen. Ask yourself, how do you prove you are a US citizen? Your state driver's license won't cut it. It doesn't state your immigration status. You don't have a passport on you. You don't even have a passport. Your taken into custody until you can provide proof you are a citizen. You call Higgins and ask him to send your long form birth certificate from Hawaii. And you know what a hassle that can be. Might as well order one from Kenya.

OK so the Magnum scenario is a little goofy. But let's be serious for a moment. You are stopped by Arizona police simply because they think you are Canadian and here illegally. You have done nothing wrong. You are a US citizen. Empty your pockets. Ask yourself what do you have to prove you are a citizen? Better think quick if you want to stay out of jail. But let's be frank. The police won't be stopping people who look Canadian. They will be focusing much further south.

What do you think the original tea party would have done to prevent such a scenario? Imagine British troops stopping colonists with no cause. I think the original tea party would have passed a Bill of Rights. Maybe include something about illegal search and seizure. Maybe throw some Arizona tea into the desert.

As Ben Franklin eloquently put "Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." With that in mind, my modern tea party friends, you may want to stop using that copy of the constitution as just a prop. Open it up and read it some time.

The Cult of Glenn Beck

A Rambling Response to the Ramblings of Glenn Beck.
I love Glenn Beck. Whether it be his on-air crocodile tears, his assertion that God speaks through him or his apocalyptic prophecies, I get a kick out of crazy people. Am I the only one who thinks Glenn Beck is a few episodes away from broadcasting from a desert compound surrounded by multiple wives, firearms, and jars of pee. I wouldn't be surprised if he trades his sneakers for some black Nike hightops or perhaps a pair of Kleenex boxes. Nevertheless, he has an audience that hangs on every nutty word. Beck has mentioned that God is speaking through him. Like Moses coming down from the mountaintop, he has given his disciples 9 principles and 12 values they must adhere to. He warns of the end of days. He has warned his followers to leave churches who preached social or economic justice. Speaking as a Christian, I am pretty sure that includes any church that includes the teachings of Jesus. Next he will be telling his followers to worship a Goldline sponsored calf.

As crazy as it seems, the guy knows what he is doing. Mix in a little truth with your lie and hit repeat. The result has filled Glenn's pockets and made him a darling of extreme elements on the right. The formula is not that difficult. It has been used throughout history by those wanting to manipulate the conversation. Take for example, his use of patriotic imagery. The guy actually sits in front of a cardboard George Washington and cries. Surely this noble man is a true patriot. I want to be a patriot too. Let me take a stab at the conspiracy game and put Glenn's tried and true formula to the test. OK. Here we go...

Fellow Patriots (picture me with a tear on my cheek) I am here today to warn you about a cancer on our American way of life. That cancerous tumor is the pudgy chalk stained fingers of Glenn Lee Beck. (I don't know if the "Lee" is in tribute to Lee Harvey Oswald or Confederate General Lee.) Of course, you won't hear this from the cowards in the conservative media. They make too much money off of Glenn Beck. You need to ask yourself the hard truth. You just need to have the courage to turn your tv dial. You must tune into the History Channel to find the truth. America's future hangs in the balance.

My fellow Patriots, recently I saw a documentary on the American Nazi party of the 1930s. Far from being American patriots, the Nazi "Bund" became quite popular during a time of economic strife. Of course, your history teacher probably never told you about the Bund. That's Ok. You have me. That is why I have this chalk board. I will tell you what you need to know. Like Beck's 9-12 movement, the Nazi Bund movement was prone to holding imagery filled rallies using manipulative images of our beloved founding fathers. At the height of their popularity, an estimated 22,000 Bund members actually filled Madison Square Garden for a rally beneath a large image of George Washington and great flowing American flags. The Bund warned of supposed secret communists in our government and criticized Roosevelt's New Deal.

Watching the documentary, I realized something. It was as if God was telling me the answer. Glenn Lee Beck was utlizing Nazi methods on his audience. I decided to investigate the fuhrer...sorry further. What Fox News and the conservative media won't tell you is that Beck is actually descended from German immigrants. Yes. Germany. Where Hitler lived. Where David Hasselhoff's music is popular. It bares noting that Beck's German grandfather would have formed his political leanings during the height of Bund popularity. We need to ask ourselves the hard questions. Did Beck's father and grandfather instill pro-Nazi values in Beck? You tell me.

Like the Nazi Bund, each week Glenn Lee Beck tells his viewers that the government is made up of secret communists. He has called President Woodrow Wilson evil. The Nobel Peace prize winning president who defeated the Germans in World War I. He criticizes the current adminstration's efforts at economic reform much like the Bund did with Roosevelt's new deal. Of course, the Bund audience was limited to Madison Square garden. Beck's audience is far larger. He gets right inside your living room. Yes. Your living room. That sacred place where your family watches Disney movies by the warmth of a fire. Where your innocent children frolic and play. Where your grandmother knits freedom blankets.

The comparisons between Bund leader Fritz Kuhn's methodology and Herr Beck's 9-12 movement is uncanny. Apparently it must have clicked a little too close to home. Like Kuhn, Beck often uses the image of George Washington and other American patriots during ranting sermons to his wide eyed flock. He sits in front of portraits of the founding fathers and tells members of his movement that secret communists are everywhere. Beck takes a note from the page of Nazi Propganda minister Joseph Goebels on how to create a cult of personality. It is a method that uses mass media to create an idealized and heroic image. Like Goebels, Beck began creating documentaries in support of his extremist views. His use of mass media through his Mercury Radio Arts includes radio, television, magazines, and the internet. It bears noting that the ancient Romans associated the God Mercury with Wotan, the chief God of the Germanic people and the patron of magicians, war and leeches. The word mercurial commonly refers to something that is erratic and unstable. Beck's use of Pagan imagery coincides with his call to his followers to leave any church that taught social justice. Since social justice is a primary tenet of Christianity, many believe Beck is asking his followers to abandon the Christian Church. He has also told his followers that God speaks through him and gives his disciples 9 principles to follow and 12 values. He has not stated whether he is
referring to the God of Mercury.

Although Herr Beck has never indicated whether his German family members were a part of the American Bund, he inexplicably felt the need to distance himself from Kuhn and his movement. He has made statements to discredit the Bund movement. I wonder if Katie Couric ever felt the need to go on record that she was not a Nazi?

You can see how easy it is to start a nutty conspiracy that predisposed people would easily accept. If you watch the Glenn Beck show, you know what I said is true. He has spoken out against the Bund. He does tend to talk about Nazis. My conspiracy theory is really not that far fetched. So do I think Glenn Beck is a Nazi. Of course not. But I do think he has created a cult of personality for himself. If you can call it a personality. Frankly, I think he's a jackass who manipulates feeble minded people for profit. He is bad for America. He is creating division among our citizens.

Is that too harsh? Good. You're an adult. No need to sugar coat it. Maybe someone needs to do an intervention and rap you on the noggin. Stop being stupid. President Obama was born in the United States (even Beck agrees). Your grandmother is not going to be killed by government agents working for Obama. There are no plans for secret armies, concentration camps or muslim indoctrination centers. Besides, the secret armies were supposed to be a secret. Who told you? Was it Bob? That guy can never keep a secret. He ruined the surprise. But I digress......

It amazes me on how people heed his every "Becken" call. Just this month, Glenn Beck posted the following message on twitter :

"Not Racist, not violent and NOT SILENT anymore. We don't need to fire bullets, just politicians."

The mantra was quickly repeated over and over (and over and over) by his loyal twittering twits. The message irked me in many ways. The first was the obvious. If you really are not racist or violent, why do you feel the overwhelming need to try to convince everyone. It's the equivalent of telling people you are not racist because you "work with a Black guy" or that your college roommate dated a girl that you think was "half Mexican or Italian or something." The phrase "I am not racist" tends to be followed by a "but" and usually something racist. I honestly believe some in his movement honestly believe they are not racist. It doesn't sink in that holding a sign with the President portrayed as a witch doctor or a monkey is considered racist imagery. That's what happens when you are surrounded by like minded individuals.

Another particularly irksome part of Glenn Beck's message was the statement "we don't need to fire bullets". What is it with the right always injecting weapons terminology. Far from being subtle, is it really necessary to remind us constantly of gun cross-hairs, bullets and reloading. When criticized, the usual response is "When we said we would put bullets in your face, bullets, we obviously meant votes." Here's a tip. Just stay away from such language. Instead of crosshairs, try a checkmark. Instead of reloading, try saying regrouping. Your followers are angry and wee wee'ed up as it is. Stop reminding them what they can do with a gun. "I'd Kill for a pizza" can be a common saying. It takes on a different meaning when Charles Manson says it. Glenn Beck must have realized that some of his more ardent fans might take his ramblings to heart. He is now asking his viewers to sign a non violence pledge. Think of the pledge as Glenn's "cover my ass in case a follower shoots someone" insurance.

And finally, yes we know you are "not silent any more" Give me a break. No longer silent? Tell me when exactly have you been silent. Who is trying to silence you by the way? You have a tea party rally every other week. The Harbor is full of Lipton. Glenn Beck is on 30 times a day. You have a whole network devoted to your cause. Frankly, when do you shut up? Between town hall meetings and sessions of Congress, it's as if there is an outbreak of a serious case of Tourettes in the conservative movement. If you ask me, Jerry Springer audience members have more civility.

Glenn Beck has also encouraged his followers to support Arizona's new immigration law which requires people to prove they are not here illegally. Is Beck even considering what this law will do to Arizona's struggling hockey industry. Think of all those poor Canadians being deported. Of course, this new requirement to prove you are a native American may inadvertently give the state of Arizona back to the Apaches.

Sponsors that cater to "normal people" have taken note of the show's negative tone and have been leaving in droves. It makes sense. Who wants to eat at Applebees after listening to Glenn Beck's delusional rants about communists for an hour? What is left is the bottom of the barrel of advertisers that feed on people's fears and the doom and gloom prophecies of Beck's ramblings. For $150, viewers are encouraged to buy super seeds for apocalyptic crisis gardens. These Armagardens will help your family survive when the end of days comes. $150 is a bargain considering you will need those carrots to feed the steeds of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. Sponsor Goldline encourages you to invest in gold, the only safe investment in troubling times. Yes, Glenn Beck sponsors encourage you to buy magic beans and golden eggs. Want something a little more personal to buy from Beck. Go to his online store where he sells duct tape with his logo, twisted freak merchandise and a how to write a letter kit. Of course I see why Oreck vaccum would remain a sponsor. They should advertise on things that suck.

Another thing I often hear is "You don't know Glenn. You never watched the show." I do know Glenn. I have watched the show. I have seen the Goebels like "documentaries " I remember him from his days as a morning DJ in Connecticut. His shtick has always been ...pardon my French... being kind of a dick. He attracts a die hard following that includes that couple who always complains to the waitress and never tips, the old man who yells at the neighborhood kids to get off his lawn, and the crazy lady down the street who lives with 100s of cats and stacks of newspapers. Beck's jackassiveness (Yes it is a word. I just made it up) started when he was part of Captain Beck and the A Team. The ironically pudgy pundit relentlessly berated another morning show personality he never met for being overweight. On the eve of the poor woman's wedding, he ranted on air that wedding guests should throw buttered popcorn at her. During his time at Y-95, Glenn Beck made on-air fun of a rival's wife a couple of days after she had a miscarriage. Beck called the poor woman live on the air and said, 'We hear you had a miscarriage.' He then joked that her husband couldn't do anything right, including having a baby.

Unfortunately, his lack of common decency and sense has carried over to television Some highlights collected by Media Matters:

1. "This president I think has exposed himself over and over again as a guy who has a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture....I'm not saying he doesn't like white people, I'm saying he has a problem. This guy is, I believe, a racist." –on President Obama, sparking an advertiser exodus from his FOX News show, July 28, 2009

2. "I'm thinking about killing Michael Moore, and I'm wondering if I could kill him myself, or if I would need to hire somebody to do it. ... No, I think I could. I think he could be looking me in the eye, you know, and I could just be choking the life out. Is this wrong? I stopped wearing my What Would Jesus -- band -- Do, and I've lost all sense of right and wrong now. I used to be able to say, 'Yeah, I'd kill Michael Moore,' and then I'd see the little band: What Would Jesus Do? And then I'd realize, 'Oh, you wouldn't kill Michael Moore. Or at least you wouldn't choke him to death.' And you know, well, I'm not sure." –"The Glenn Beck Program," May 17, 2005

3. "When I see a 9/11 victim family on television, or whatever, I'm just like, 'Oh shut up' I'm so sick of them because they're always complaining." –"The Glenn Beck Program," Sept. 9, 2005

4. "The only [Katrina victims] we're seeing on television are the scumbags." –"The Glenn Beck Program," Sept. 9, 2005

5. "I think there is a handful of people who hate America. Unfortunately for them, a lot of them are losing their homes in a forest fire today." –on why people who lost their homes in forest fires in California had it coming, "The Glenn Beck Program," Oct. 22, 2007

6. "I have been nervous about this interview with you because what I feel like saying is, 'Sir, prove to me that you are not working with our enemies. ... And I know you're not. I'm not accusing you of being an enemy, but that's the way I feel, and I think a lot of Americans will feel that way." –interviewing Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN), the first Muslim U.S. congressman , Nov. 14, 2006

7. "Al Gore's not going to be rounding up Jews and exterminating them. It is the same tactic, however. The goal is different. The goal is globalization...And you must silence all dissenting voices. That's what Hitler did. That's what Al Gore, the U.N., and everybody on the global warming bandwagon [are doing]." –"The Glenn Beck Program," May 1, 2007

8. "So here you have Barack Obama going in and spending the money on embryonic stem cell research. ... Eugenics. In case you don't know what Eugenics led us to: the Final Solution. A master race! A perfect person. ... The stuff that we are facing is absolutely frightening." –"The Glenn Beck Program," March 9, 2009

9. "You have the artwork of Mussolini there, here in New York at Rockefeller Plaza." –analyzing the artwork decorating Rockefeller Plaza, which he said contained a hammer and sickle, Glenn Beck show on FOX News Channel, Sept. 2, 2009

10. "O-L-I-G-A-R-H-Y." –misspelling "oligarchy" on his chalk board while claiming he had deciphered a secret code that he said was proof President Obama was trying to create an "Oligarhy," Aug. 27, 2009, Glenn Beck show on FOX News Channel

11. "You know, we all have our inner demons. I, for one – I can't speak for you, but I'm on the verge of moral collapse at any time. It can happen by the end of the show." –"The Glenn Beck Program," Nov. 6, 2006

Despite all this, I have an open mind. Maybe the cult of Glenn Beck isn't so bad. Maybe I am being too harsh. He sits in front of a cardboard George Washington. How bad can he be. But, before I join, I need to know a few things. (1) Do I have to give Beck all of my worldly possessions or does the $75 membership to his Extreme portion of his website cover it? (2) Do I have to shave my head and (3) Can I bring my cats when the mothership comes? I promised Mittens Romney I would show him Saturn.

Hey Earl, You One of Them Consitututional Scholars Too?

Recently, I overheard two defendants discussing their arrest on a variety of charges. Apparently, these two gentlemen were detained for trying to steal gas from a large storage tank. The cunning plan was to repeatedly bash a metal wrench against the nozzle of the tank with the hopeful anticipation that it would produce a gush of liquid gold. (I picture them smoking as sparks flew off the wrench with each hit). The discussion eventually turned to politics as it related to their current woes.

"The only reason we got arrested is because of that socialist Kenyan in the White House. They arrested us without a warrant. And did you hear that Barack HUSSEIN Obama wants to take over the census. That is a violation of Article One of the Constitution." Despite my best efforts to turn invisible, they noticed me. "Hey, you're a lawyer. Tell him. This Nazi is violating Article One of the Constitution because he wants the director of the Census Bureau to report to the White House." I thought back to my Con Law class. Article One? Was that the one that said you shouldn't covet thy neighbor's something or other? I did what any self respecting attorney would have done. "Actually, I'm a used car salesman " I answered.

As the political climate in the US heats up, it appears more and more people are becoming constitutional scholars. Added to that, many have taken to speaking like extras from the movie Braveheart. They refer to each other as fellow patriots who must rise to defend the oncoming slaught of tyranny. They tweet about what Madison's intentions were in the Federalist papers. People who normally blog about their cats suddenly post their interpretations of Supreme Court rulings. They debate the definition and the intentions of our forefathers in what constitutes a natural born citizen. Some take the debate to a fever pitch as the Glenn Becks of the world feed the flames of misinformation with scare tactics. Of course, if you're holding a misspelled sign with Obama sporting a Hitler mustache, it makes it difficult to believe you should be considered a Constitutional scholar. Call me crazy, but its difficult to take your opinion seriously when you believe secret armies are being planned to implant transmitters into people who send in their census forms. But I digress...

Don't get me wrong, its great that people are finally taking an interest the documents that built the foundation of our nation. My problem is with those who misinterpret the Constitution in an effort to inject misinformation into a highly charged debate. I agree with Justice Brennan's view that the genius of the Constitution rests not in some static meaning in a world that is dead and gone but in the adaptability of its great principles to cope with current problems and current needs.

If you're not a constitutional scholar, don't worry about it. Use your common sense. Do you really believe the government wants to unconstitutionally kill your grandmother using death panels run by illegal gay immigrant armies to fund abortions? Neither do I.

Glenn Beck Fans Duped Into Buying Magic Beans

Apocalypse Now?

Whether it be a run on ammo, canned goods or seeds, it appears irrational fears are giving drive to a cottage industry of doom. The constant threat of Armageddon has caused common sense to be replaced with nonsense. For months people have been told by certain right wing pundits that death panels are coming to kill senior citizens. Rumors of secret armies and concentration camps permeate the internet. Many hid their children at home fearing a welcome back to school speech from the President was an attempt at communist indoctrination. Opponents of health care have gotten so riled up that many now believe that the legislation will lead to the destruction of the United States.

I disagree. I have a little more faith in my country. Our nation has survived wars, terror attacks, natural disasters and the music of the Backstreet Boys. Call me crazy, but I do not think that providing health care opportunities for our citizens will lead to the end of days. In fact, I think it will make our country stronger. The again, maybe I am wrong. They laughed at Noah when he warned a flood would wipe out civilization. Instead of poking fun at these people, perhaps I should start building a boat. Anyone know where I get a good deal on some lumber and maybe a couple of giraffes?

Of course, not all share my faith in our nation's resilience. In addition to the golden eggs of sponsor Goldline, it appears Glenn Beck fans are now being duped into buying magic beans. New show sponsor "The Survival Seed Bank" reminds viewers that "you don't have to be an Old Testament prophet to see what's going on all around us." They ask potential customers if they can survive "off the grid" as an "aloof ruling elite" introduces totaliatarianism. Worried. Don't be. In the words of Sean Hannity "let not your heart be troubled." If you have water, sunlight and $150, you may be able to survive.

Yes, for only $150, you can buy seeds to start your own crisis garden from show sponsor "Survival Seed Bank". According to their site these are not ordinary seeds. They are open pollinated "Super Seeds." You can grow carrots that will leap over corn stalks in a single bound. Eggplant more powerful than a locomotive. Beets that will go through you faster than a speeding bullet. These are exciting vegetables. My only concern would be that if I am stuck in an enclosed unventilated bunker for months, do I want to feed my fellow survivors super cabbage and three types of beans?

The purveyors of crisis gardens fit well with the chalk stained doom & gloom prophecies of Glenn Beck. With reputable national sponsors leaving the show in droves, the former Top 40 DJ has resorted to scrounging for advertising dollars from snake oil salesmen. Would you be surprised if his next sponsor was the maker of tinfoil hats that block government mind control waves. Simply put, Glenn Beck irks me. The guy is bad for the country. Sitting in front portraits of the founding fathers, he makes money by manipulating the feeble minded. Each and every show, the pudgy pied piper tells his audience that the sky is falling. Of course, if you remember the story of Chicken Little, it was not the sky that was falling. It was only a nut falling from a tree. That's what we have here. A bunch of nuts.

Nevertheless, the good people at the survival seed bank tell us that seeds will be worth more than silver and gold. The cost for a seed kit is normally $297, but if you order through the website they can be yours for only $149.00. Of course, if you do decide to buy the magic beans, be forewarned Patriots and tea aficionados. There shall be no future discounts once the end of days arrive.

My advice. Buy your seeds at Walmart. You can use the savings to build a survival shelter with extra ventilation.

(Editors note: Unfortunately, the survival seeds do not appear to include seeds for growing tea plants.)

Put Your Jackets Back On Conservatives.

Beck, Baby Killers & Trekkies

Throughout my life, my legs have hung off both sides of the political fence. In the 80s, I went with Reagan. In the 90s it was Clinton. A registered Republican since the age of 18, I worked for a member of the Kennedy clan on his environmental efforts. I am now a registered Democrat who was a staunch supporter of both our local Republican mayor and President Obama. I think I even checked out a Ross Perot rally once, but it was for the school paper. Then again, maybe I’m a little schizophrenic. Who knows? I guess I always just followed the advice of my war veteran uncle. Don’t vote along party lines, vote for the best candidate. Unfortunately, good politicians can be hard to find. Now we have a battle over health care reform. Personally, I think the health care bill passed at not a moment too soon. Apparently, there is an outbreak of Tourette's rampaging throughout the conservative movement. The latest poor soul to be afflicted: Representative Randy Neugebauer, the Republican representative from Texas. After it was discovered that he shouted "baby killer" at a fellow Congressman, Randy explained that the statement was misunderstood. He was actually asking a capitol page named Bobby for a cruller. (You can roll your eyes now.) On the positive side, at least he didn't challenge Congressman Stupak to a tickle fight.

Growing up, I remember a different type of Republican. The iconic Ronald Reagan was the standard bearer of the Grand Old Party. He replaced the polyester leisure suit mentality of the 70s with a certain starched dignity and grace. Reagan was known to keep his suit jacket on while in the Oval Office. He did it out of respect for the Presidency (plus it was drafty). His opponents respected him because he respected his opponents. The Gipper was tough, but he always had an air of civility about him. Unfortunately, the tide has turned. The crisp pinstripe suits of the Reagan years have been replaced with court jesters carrying civil war muskets and misspelled signs. We find Republican congressmen playing up to the more extreme members of the right. They shout "you lie" and "baby killer" as they play with their Blackberries. They make McCarthy-like accusations of socialism against fellow Congressmen. They give credence to conspiracy theories about the president's birth. Is it just me or have meetings of Congress turned into amateur night at the Apollo? I blame Jerry Springer. He made it OK for members of the audience to act like jackasses. The rhetoric from the right is disturbing. Go on the GOP's official website and you see a photo of Nancy Pelosi engulfed in flames. Visit Sarah Palin's website and you will be informed that it is time to "reload" and shows a map of Democrats with crosshairs on their locations. Somewhere along the way, the GOP decided it's acceptable to give up a little dignity and common sense in order to attract a certain segment of the conservative community.

It is no surprise. The extreme right is a dedicated bunch. They will follow you to the gates of hell. Take the Tea Party movement for example. Not only will a tea partier vote for you, they will come to the voting booths with thirty friends dressed as President Washington's Delaware crossing. They will campaign for you and shout down your opponents at town hall meetings. So if you have to say a couple of whacky things to get some tea party credibility, why not? Question the presidents' birth publicly and surely you will get die-hard support from the musket aficionado set. Think of the Tea Partiers as Star Trek fans and Republican congressmen as original cast members. Although I am sure William Shatner loves Trekkies, a part of him must think many of them are utter nutjobs. Of course, ignoring them would be foolish. They make up a significant part of his fan base. So he goes to conventions and answers questions about warp drives, green alien women and Tribbles. He may even call a Klingon a "baby killer" once in awhile. But you know that deep inside he dies a little.

In the media, guys like Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh are masters at soring up their fan base by scaring the crap out of them. Watch a typical Glenn Beck show and you will come away convinced that healthcare reform is a communist plot to kill the remaining Golden Girls, that President Obama is a racist Muslim Kenyan who is planning mass sterilizations and that Nancy Pelosi is planning internment camps run by illegal gay immigrants. Beck plays up people's fears and has gotten rich in the process. Worried about the financial market, why not buy Gold through Beck's sponsor Goldline. Did the pudgy pundit make you believe Armageddon is quickly approaching? Better make sure to buy some survival seeds. For $150, a Glenn Beck show sponsor will sell you packages of 22 varieties of seeds for a crisis garden. Think of it this way. The truth is a chicken that is going to stay inside. A fair and balanced Fox is circling the hen house.

If Glenn Beck can get his fans to buy golden eggs and magic beans, it is no surprise some Republican congressmen are willing to lose a little dignity to gain their support. Joe Wilson learned that early on. The guy blurts out "you lie" as if he just found out Santa wasn't real and the Tea Party movement fills his campaign coffers. Sarah Palin tells the nation that Obama wants to kill grandma and she's rewarded with teabags full of speaking fees. The recipe is easy. Fan the flames of misinformation by mixing in a little truth with a little fear. Add a "you betcha" and it's ready to serve.

But what about the long term effects on the Grand Old Party? Do Republicans really want the Glenn Becks of the world to serve as the new standard bearers of the party? The nutcase is waving a bat on tv imploring his viewers that they might be next in the killing spree. Lincoln united a house divided. Roosevelt charged up San Juan Hill. Reagan tore down walls and crushed an evil empire. Is the next step in the Republican legacy really the Tea Party movement, Sarah Palin's lipstick and Glen Beck's chalkboard?

Now, I'm not saying that all tea party members are like Jack Nicholson in the Shining. Many have legitimate concerns. There's a lot to be frustrated about. I am saying that it's time for normal conservatives to stand up. While the regular Republicans are at work, the lunatics are getting all the camera time. You know the ones. The guy who failed social studies but is suddenly an expert on the 10th Amendment. The gal carrying a misspelled sign at a Tea Party rally. The protesters who shout racial and homophobic slurs at Democratic Congressmen as they walk past. The artists who make posters of the President of United States dressed as Hitler. These people are a few teacups short of a full set.

It's time to get back to civility and reason. Between Sarah Palin writing on her hands, Beck's pudgy chalk stained fingers and Rush's ADD outbursts in class, I have gotten weary of the schoolyard antics. I still cannot comprehend that grown adults honestly believed the president of the United States was secretly creating concentration camps, mass sterilizations and death panels. What happened to common sense? Do these people honestly think that the United States is on it's last legs and only Glenn Beck can save us from the four horsemen of the impending Apocalypse. Glenn's tears do not make his words true.

Well, I have a little more faith in my country. I live in a nation that has survived wars, financial depressions, natural disasters and terror attacks. Through each crisis we have emerged stronger. I think we can survive giving healthcare to our citizens. Is the idea really that repulsive? The United States is the only industrialized nation that does not guarantee access to health care as a right of citizenship. We're Americans. We always do things bigger and better. Canadians should not be living longer than us.

I am sure some of my readers support the healthcare legislation and some are against it. It should never lead to hanging people in effigy, shouting down differences in opinion and threatening violence. Obviously you have the right to state your opinion, but you do not have the right to control the debate through fear. As an attorney I value the freedom of speech and all our Constitutional protections. But masking threats of violence with the freedom of speech is not freedom. In my day we called it nuts. A true American expresses his opinion in the voting booth, not with a brick through a window.

So put your suit jacket back on Congressman. Do it for the Gipper.

The Rise of Cobra and the Return of Sarah Palin

Is Mosselini Back?
As a kid, I loved watching GI Joe cartoons on Saturday mornings. Our real American heroes would thwart the dastardly plans of the evil Cobra Commander as he tried to take over the world. Cobra Commander was a somewhat menacing looking figure in a Darth Vader / Dick Cheney sort of way. As such, he would often have to turn to his femme fatale, the Baroness. With long dark hair, black-rimmed glasses and an Orly Taitz accent, the ruthless beauty carried a menancing gun. In one actual episode, she travels to Alaska where she steals the seal of Alaska and tries to kill Snake Eyes, his pet wolf and Kwinn the Eskimo.

Now, the Baroness is back from hiding. No, I don’t mean the Baroness from the feature length GI Joe film. I mean the real Baroness. The one with the funny accent. The one who delights in shooting wolves from planes cause yah gotta eat. The new accent doesn’t fool me. I know its her. The one who gave up the great seal of Alaska with 18 months left in her term. She has gone from killing wolves to killing health care reform. She wants to attack your COBRA benefits.

In her state of the union?,....no, press conference?...wait that's not it...television interview?....nope... speech before Congress? getting warmer...ah yes Facebook update, former Governor Sarah Palin stated: “Who will suffer the most when they ration care? The sick, the elderly, and the disabled, of course.” Palin goes on to write “The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s ‘death panel’ so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their ‘level of productivity in society,’ whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.” (I imagine her other facebook updates include of who Becky is taking to the prom and her favorite Jonas Brother. Coupled with her writing a cheat sheet on her hand, you can almost imagine Palin as one of your kid's misbehaved school friends.)

Palin's statements and actions have rubbed me the wrong way. Death panels? Sounds like a weird spinoff of American Idol. Imagine Paula Abdul, Simon whats his face and David Hasselhoff judging whether or not grandma is gonna make it. The ratings would be amazing. Actually, what bugged me about Palin’s statements was that she immediately dragged her poor kid into the center of the debate. Considering she relentlessly decries the media for mentioning her kids, why does she intentionally throw them on stage. If she doesn’t want media coverage of her family, stop trotting them out every five seconds. Why not throw a blanket over Bristol’s head. It worked for Michael Jackson’s kids for years. You live in Alaska. I am sure you have plenty of blankets.

Actually, what really bothers me about her statements is that she is injecting more misinformation into a highly charged debate. For better or worse, a segment of our society believes in her. Healthcare is a complex issue. Calling the proposals “evil” and suggesting it will kill babies and old people is shameful. Making a website hitlist of politicians to target with gunscopes over their locations is morally incomprehensible. She told her feverent followers that it was time to reload. What is wrong with this lady? She has really gone off the deep end. It's irresponsible and shameful.

For someone who has higher political aspirations, these are not the actions of a statesman. I would have preferred if she offered an alternative plan. I never liked scare tactics in politics. They cloud the issues. They misinform and manipulate. In my humble opinion, there are far many more suitable female candidates in the Republican party. Her 15 minutes of fame should have been "shovel ready" when she quit on her state and left the governorship.

So where does this grandma killing misinformation come from? Who is telling you that there is a boogeyman in the closet? In addition to Palin’s evil comments, Rush Limbaugh has stated that “they” are going to counsel you on how to die. Healthcare opponents usually point to language in a House bill that offers senior citizens free counseling meant to answer any end of life questions they may have. This is voluntary counseling that includes advice on will preparation, medical power of attorneys, resuscitation wishes and other pertinent matters. It does not mean that Obama, the Kenyan born communist wants to kill grandma and use the extra money to pay for abortions. The truth is Palin is suggesting that we let our seniors loose into the Alaskan wilderness where they will be shot at from planes. Survival of the fittest. It’s really more humane.

Over the years, I have found that if the counter argument is led by the Rush Limbaughs, Sarah Palins Glenn Becks and Orly Taitiszeses of the world, it may behoove you to take closer look at the truth. Truth of the matter is such consultations are nothing new. Health care facilities have been required to provide end-of-life information to patients since 1990 when Congress passed the Patient Self Determination Act. I believe that was under the reign of George the First. Similar actions were brought under George the II as well. According to Politico: “In 2003, under the Bush administration, the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality issued a 20-page report outlining a five-part process for physicians to discuss end-of-life care with their patients.” [Politico, 7/28/09].

We need more affordable options. There is no reason Canadians should be living longer than us. ( Granted the reason may be that they sent Celine Dion to the United States. Studies show that American life expectancy shortens 5 minutes everytime they hear the theme to Titanic). Americans should not be forced to choose between visiting a doctor or putting food on a table (or having the HBO package on their television set). The healthcare system in our nation needs to be fixed. Stop with the scare tactics. Start with the solutions. PS Did you hear that Obama wants to take away Rascals from Senior Citizens. He says they add to global warning. He also plans to take the batteries out of your Life Alert.

(Editors Note: Gov Palin's new reality show debuts appropriately on April Fool's Day. I hear it will have a Martha Stewart feel to it. I particularly enjoyed the segment on making tinfoil hats and how to skin a caribou.)

Canada is Trying to Kill Us

For years I have been warning people about our northern neighbors and no one would listen to me. When I tell people my theory, they make statements like “crackpot”, “nutjob” and “sir, your holding up the line, do you want fries with your Happy Meal or not?” Nevertheless, I will get my message out. The Canadians are trying to kill us.

Now I don’t know anything about the Canadian healthcare system, the Obama healthcare bill or “facts” but from what I’ve heard at town hall meetings, tea party rallies and random strangers, it involves a series of death panels that kill senior citizens. Ever seen an old Canadian? Neither have I. It appears that even a discussion of health care reform causes you to go deaf and develop Tourettes. At town hall meetings and sessions of Congress, I have observed participants inexplicably shouting random incoherent things at each other.

In 2006, per-capita spending for health care in the U.S. was $6,714. In Canada, it was $3,678 That’s US Dollars. The U.S. spent 15.3% of GDP on health care in that year; Canada spent 10.0% Despite this fact, Canadians are living longer than Americans. Their infant mortality rate is lower. So why would someone want the United States to be the only wealthy industrialized nation without universal health care?

To that I say, mind your business Canada and quit stealing all of our good hockey jobs. The real reason Canadians are living longer is simple.

1. Canada is colder. Its simply preservation. (Ever notice meet lasts longer in the fridge. Of course someone in frigid Canada will keep longer than someone in humid Florida.)
2. The Canadians keep sending us all their crappy music and keep the good stuff. Take Canadian Celine Dion for example. Studies indicate Americans shave approximately five minutes off their life every time they listen to the love theme from Titanic.
3. Heart disease is the number one killer of Americans. Americans love Egg McMuffins. Egg McMuffins have Canadian bacon. Do the math.

The Manchurian errr Canadian Candidate

Now this may come off a bit crazy, but I think the Birther movement may have been on to something regarding claims that Obama is not being a natural born citizen. There only mistake was thinking President Obama was born in Kenya. I think Obama is actually French Canadian. It appears he may have been born in Quebec. He is way too polite to be an American. He has used the phrase "wee wee'd". And Barack sounds like a Frenchy name. “Le Barack Obama ”. It makes perfect sense.

Let’s use common sense. Hawaiian and Canadian officials could have easily been paid off to go along with the story. You would just need loads of cash for the bribes. You know, Gordon Lightfoot kind of money. And (surprise, surprise) guess where Gordon was born….Yup, you guessed it. Canada. And what about those phoney baloney newspaper announcements regarding Obama’s purported “Hawaiian Birth?” You would have to have some sort of time machine to go back to the 1960s, right?. Is it a coincidence that Canadian born Michael J Fox has access to a DeLorean Time machine? I think not. The truth is out there people. You just need to find it. The Canadians are out to get us.